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Friday, March 28, 2008

Top 5 Costumes We Can Do Without For Halloween 2008

With Halloween still 7 months away, I thought I'd put together a list of costumes I personally don't want to see AGAIN this year. Think of this as getting a good start on something clever together.

1. Borat
Next year if I see one more person dressed as Borat at a party I'm gonna freak out. Especially the one guy that has the balls (literally) to actually show up with Borat's infamous swimsuit. If I see that again i'm gonna give him a wedgie so high he'll be able to use it as dental floss. With "Bruno" (the flaming sexual reporter) coming out this year, expect to see that as the next Sacha Baron Cohen costume of this year. (In case you've been living under a rock Sacha Baron Cohen is the comedian/actor who plays Borat, Ali G, and Bruno.)

Possibly the worst Borat ever. Nice find on the swimsuit, but no mustache? WTF? Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. I mean noooooooooo.

2. Jack Sparrow
Sure it's always fun to be a pirate, it's the only time you can rape and pillage and get away with it right? (The Vikings did it better anyway. I know I'm Norwegian) But still, please no more Johnny Depp costumes. My sister's boyfriend was him at the first party I went to last year, but the good thing about him was he actually has real dreadlocks, so he looked pretty damn good. The next five parties had at least 3 Jack Sparrows each, with no Kraken in site unfortuately.

Captain Jack Swallows.

3. Men Dressed As Women
I have no doubt that the 25% (maybe more) of the fellas who dress up as a ugly bittys on Halloween secretly wish they could do it all the time. Putting on makeup and a dress to see what you would look like as a girl is so much fun isn't it! And no, it's not hilarious anymore after the 50th person at the party feels your balloon tits and laughs like a jack ass.

Yup guys, you exactly what he wants you to do with that poolstick.

4. Gimmicky Couple Costumes
Bolt and Nuts, Plugs and sockets, Key and Lock outfits... you know what I'm talking about. These costumes are for the artards with creativity as bad as Uwe Boll movies. They run out the hour before a Halloween party to blow $60 on a cheap ass attempt at being hilarious.

Maybe I'm just bitter at this costume because I wish I was the one sticking my bolt in the chick :(

5. Spiderman
Sorry, nobody wants to see anyone but Tobey Mcguire wearing that suit. Especially when it doesn't fit your fat ass and we have to see the wedge in your crack since the suit is so friggin' tight.

(OK so i admit this is me last year, fuck off. I should have photoshopped my tic tac pecker bulge bigger damnit.)

I'll end this list on a positive note. I would give not just my left nut, but my right as well to own the Hulk costume this fan made "Marvel Zombies Trailer" that alot of diggers have already seen.
Watch it here.

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